How many feminist does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they don't change anything.

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How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."

How many Russians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to shoot him if he does it wrong.