How many 'Suh Dudes' does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Its already lit, fam.

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.

How many acrobats does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to change it and one to yell "Ta-daa!" when he's done.