Why was there a dyslexic stormtrooper?

Sith happens.

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What happened when the black man went to night school?

The teacher marked him absent.

What happens when you put the energizer bunny's battery's in backwards?

He keeps coming and coming and coming.

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How do the Sith ascend?

Elevaders

Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.