How many tries did it take to find out if Lance Armstrong was ticklish?

One testtickle

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Why did the Teletubbies find it hard to pee?

They only have one Tinkie-Winkie

What is printed on the bottom of a bottle in Michigan?

Found on /r/linux) A: Open the other end

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Why should you try to date girls you meet at the gym?

Because you already know she'll work out.

What did one ovary say to the other one?

What did one ovary say to the other one? "Did you order any furniture?" "No. Why?" asked the other. "Cause there's two nuts out there trying to deliver an organ."

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What do the Patriots and Lance Armstrong have in common?

They only have one good ball.

What brand of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uni-ball