How much for this remote controlled alien?

Sir, that's Stephen Hawking."

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Stephen Hawk Jokes More Stephen Hawk Jokes

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife?

Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool

Why can't Stephen Hawking dance?

Because he's white.

Control Jokes More Control Jokes

Why did the printer have wet ink?

Because it couldn't control P

When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How do you control your anger?

WIFE : I clean the toilet.... HUSBAND:How does that help WIFE : I use your toothbrush.