What do you call a projectile that is very good at finding friends?

A homie missile.

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How many surrealist painters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fish. I got this from bash.org a long time ago, but I can't find the original post, so have this

How do you make a hamburger green?

Find a yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a blue one!

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Why couldn't the two testes be friends?

Because of the vas deferens.

What did Little Bo Peep say to Woody when she got caught screwing Buzz?

You got a friend in me.