What do you call Tums in suppository form?

Bums

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What are you going to do for a face?

When the monkey wants its bum back? :D

What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?

He wiped his bum.

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How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

What did the druggie do when he got acid?

Took some tums