What do you do if your computer hums?

Tell it to change its socsks!

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What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?

A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.

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What do you tell a woman that has 37 stab wounds?

Nothing, you already told her 37 times.

How can you tell when a German is joking?

Don't worry, he will inform you after delivery of the punchline has taken place. Just a joke!