What is Oscar Pistorius's new favourite band?

Bullets For My Valentine

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Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

Who slept with my wife?

and in the background someone replied "You ain't got enough bullets."

Who's there ! Bullet ! Bullet who ?

Bullet all the hay and now he's hungry !

Oscar Pistorius Jokes More Oscar Pistorius Jokes

What did Oscar Pistorius say when his cellmate asked him how he ended up in prison?

I'm stumped."

Why did Oscar Pistorius lose his court case?

He hadn't got a leg to stand on.

Valentine Jokes More Valentine Jokes

What celestial body do you give your sweetie on valentines day?

An exoplanet.

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!