What is the deadliest bear?

Seriously... I don't know the punchline to this, help me out.

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How many moths does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just two, but how they get in there.. I don't know. (Stolen from an old Maxim in my dad's storage)

When do you REALLY know you need to break up with you GF?

When she starts winning arguments with you inner-voice.

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What is a pirate's favorite drink?

The HI-C! (punchline must be said in proper pirate voice) (this is what I do when bored at work not even ashamed)

Why doesn't anyone tell jokes about Jonestown?

The punchline is too long.

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What do call an ant that helps you with your taxes?

An account-ant.

Why are you late?

Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.