Why did Harry Potter buy so many golden snitches?

Because they were only a quideach

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Why shouldn't you buy underwear made in the Ukraine?

Because Chernobyl fallout.

How is food purchased an an Irish grocery?

You buy it per-tater

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What did Harry Potter order when he went to the bar?

Expecto-Patron-On-Ice

How does the author of harry potter descend a mountain?

On foot, how else? JK Rowling