Why did the stoneworker get fired?

Because he took his job for granite I'll show myself out.

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Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

How do you make a cat woof?

soak it in gasoline and light it on fire... WOOF!

Why did the janitor get fired from the bank?

Because he cleaned out the vault.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Where did the seaweed... Where did the seaweed find a job?

In the "Kelp Wanted" section of the want-ads.

Why do you want to join the Secret Service?

Me: "It's a secret." Job interviewer: "You got the job."

Granite Jokes More Granite Jokes

Why doesn't the stone vendor value money?

Because he takes it for granite.

Why did Mrs. Quartz divorce Mr. Quartz?

He took her for granite.