Why was the redditor banned?

Voat manipulation.

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Where does a redditor get most of his news from?

The Hydraulic Press

How can you tell if a Redditor is European?

Don't worry, he'll tell you

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Why did the Polish government have to finally ban water-polo throughout the country?

Too many horses were drowning.

What happens if you get human DNA in a goat?

You get banned from the petting zoo.