How did the mystic respond when asked what he's doing tonight?

Your mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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What did the one electron say to the other when it asked it out on a date?

Get outta here, I'm not attracted to you!

What's the matter?

I asked. "I've got the big C,"he said. "What, cancer " "No, dyslexia."

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What are your best family friendly Christmas jokes?

I need some for tonight.

What are you doing tonight?

Your wife.