How do you confuse a polish laborer?

Lay down three shovels and tell him to take his pick.

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Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What does a man and a linoleum floor have in common?

If you lay 'em right, you can walk on them for 20 years.

How do you celebrate an Ethiopian child's first birthday?

By laying flowers on their grave.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the author tell his publisher when he handed him a 600 pages instead of the 200 the publisher had asked for?

Sorry, I overwrote your order. :-)

How can you tell the difference between a catholic, a baptist, and a Methodist?

A baptist will run into a liquor store, buy their alcohol and run out. A Methodist will walk into a liquor store and say high to everyone, then buy their alcohol and walk out. A catholic will show up to the store completely hammered, hug everyone, get their alcohol and stumble their way out of the store.

Confuse Jokes More Confuse Jokes

How do you confuse a drummer?

Give him sheet music

What do you call someone who confuses Emma Stone and Mila Kunis in a movie?

A bad judge of character.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What's the difference between a cake and a school bus ?

Jill: I don't know. Janet: I'm glad I didn't send you to pick up my birthday cake !

Why are ska bands so clean?

They always pick it up pick it up pick it up.

Polish Jokes More Polish Jokes

What do they call a Polish astronomer?

Copernicus.

Why do all polish names end in SKI ?

They can't spell TOBOGGAN !