How do you make a horse fast?

You take away his food.

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Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

What do horses drink at the bar?

Chardon-neigh

Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses?

A: So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

How many mice does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

None. Mice can't change light-bulbs as they are mere rodents without the physical or mental ability to do so. Not to mention it's much safer for them to pilfer food in the dark.

What's "saying grace?

Me: It's when we thank the one who provided our food. 4-year-old: We thank the microwave