How do you tell an astronaut where they're going?

Straight up.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why do you want to be a librarian?

Me: "I like telling people to be quiet."

What do you tell a woman with a black eye?

Nothing, she's already been told twice.

Astronaut Jokes More Astronaut Jokes

How do Astronauts screw in a lightbulb?

They don't: They screw in a vacuum.

Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up?

He had a lot of aspirations.