How many seconds are in a year?

Only 12. One for every month.

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Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What's the definition of a tree?

Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.

Why do people keep asking me what I'm going to be doing in three years?

I don't have 2020 vision.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What do you call a man with a flamethrower?

2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash

What are the similarities between a US handgun and a Feminist?

30 of them are triggered every second

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

What did the doctor say to the cancer patient?

You have tumor months to live.

What did the lesbian-vampire say to her girlfriend?

See ya next month.

12 Jokes More 12 Jokes

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche?

I've never been inside a Porsche. Nor do I have 12 Porsches in my garage.

Who plays those kind of jokes anymore?

You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez.