What did the Invisible Man's mom say after he came out as invisible?

I can't even look at you anymore!"

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What did the knife say to the pretty lady?

Nothing, she knew what was coming...

What do a Catholic Priest and second place have in common?

They both came in a little behind.

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What's the difference between an extroverted mathematician and an introverted mathematician?

The extroverted mathematician looks at YOUR shoes when he's speaking to you.

What's a depressed teenagers favorite activity?

Making their wrist look like their jeans. (I'm sorry)