What did the retail employee say to the young gang member in the fitting room?

You dont fit in the hood kid.

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What did the husband say to his wife when he tried pushing it in as much as he could, but it still wouldn't fit?

He said "I'm going to try on a different shoe size."

How do you fit an elephant in a thimble?

You take the "I" out of "thimble" and the "F" out of "way."