What did the rich bald man want before he died?

Heairs.

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Why do men die before their wives?

Because we want to!

What did the computer say to the pirate?

Want to date hot Russians!

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Why did Satan keep growing his herb garden even when his oregano died each time?

Because he always had a Hell of a good thyme.

What do you call it when an Asian's imaginary friend dies?

Make-bereave