What do particle physicists like to drink?

Pina colliders.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Where does a cow stop to drink?

The milky way!

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How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage?

Dad: yea sure yells up to me son, you live with this guy now!

Which elf likes to click pictures?

sELFie