What does a retired hairdresser and a bar of platinum have in common?

They both plat no more.

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Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What did the photographer say when he retired?

I can't take it anymore!"

Why did the Computer Engineer retire young?

He had a lot of cache.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Why didn't the Mexican take Xanax?

He was barred.

Where's the best place to hide money from a Mexican?

Under a bar of soap.