What does a retired hairdresser and a bar of platinum have in common?

They both plat no more.

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Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What did they call Postman Pat after he retired?

Pat

Why did the tire pop?

Because it retired.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What does Light Yagami drink at the bar?

Tekira!

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".