What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When asked to provide proof that he had cirrhosis, what did OP do?

OP de-livered.

What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?

A nun with a javelin in her throat. (The only joke I can ever recall when asked for one. Told to me by my art teacher in Grade 11. Needless to say, he was my favourite teacher)

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What does a retired hairdresser and a bar of platinum have in common?

They both plat no more.

Why were the Seven Dwarfs kicked out of the bar?

Because they were Miners... XD

Soap Jokes More Soap Jokes

Why did the meteorologist bring a bar of soap to work?

He was expecting showers.

What is the difference between a girl in a church, and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in the church has hope in her soul, and the girl In the bathtub has soap in her hole.

Loan Jokes More Loan Jokes

Why can't student loan get a girlfriend?

Because he is forever a loan.

What did the triangle need to do before he could get a loan?

He needed somebody to cosine.

Neighbor Jokes More Neighbor Jokes

What is she?

Me: A dog. Duh. Neighbor...

How is being married like puttin' on a tin roof?

If you don't nail her good she'll be at the neighbors.

Dove Jokes More Dove Jokes

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

What's the difference between a Dove and a Turkey?

One has a coo, the other has a coup

Borrow Jokes More Borrow Jokes

What's the one movie Rick won't ever let you borrow?

He won't ever give you *Up*. No I'll show myself out . . .

What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?

A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.