What does a Scottish cat say?

Mee yew!

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What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says "Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud..." the Scottish farmer says "Hey McCloud get off of my ewe"

What do the Scottish people call iPhone?

A: an AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)