Scottish Jokes

How do you know Sia is Scottish?

Because she loves sheep thrills! *shows self out

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Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Because their sheep can hear zippers.

Why do the Scottish wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away

Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What is the difference between being Scottish, Irish, or Welsh?

The difference is what people you hate

What's the difference between a Scottish guy and Mick Jagger?

One says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" The other says "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish shepard?

The Stones say "hey you get off of my cloud!" The Shepard says "hey Mc Cloud get of of my ewe!"

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish shepherd?

One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" The other says, "Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe!

What do the Scottish people call iPhone?

A: an AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)

What's big, Scottish and depressing?

Scotland

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish Highlander?

Mick Jagger sings, "Hey you, get off of my cloud . . ", while the Scottish Highlander yells, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

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What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says "Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud..." the Scottish farmer says "Hey McCloud get off of my ewe"

What does the Scottish man say after love making?

I love ewe!

What does a Scottish cat say?

Mee yew!

What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

Whats the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger sings eh you, get offa mai cloud, but the Scottish farmer says eh McLeod, get offa mai ewe!

What do you call a Scottish parrot ?

A Macaw !

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish sheep farmer?

One says, 'Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!' The other says 'Hey! MacLeod! Get off of my ewe.'

How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster ?

Terrier-fied !

Why did Scottish baby sneeze?

It got week old.

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

What do you call a Scottish man with no arms and no legs?

a bell.

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

How many Scottish highlanders does it take to change a light bulb?

There can be only one.

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a scottish sheep herder?

One says, "hey, you! Get off my cloud!", and the other one says, "hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

What is the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!". The other says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!".

What do you call the Scottish dentist ?

Phil McCavity !

What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'

What do Scottish owls sing?

Owld Lang Syne.

What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?

Mac in cheese

Why did they bury the Scottish man on the West side of the hill?

Because he was dead

What did the Scottish epileptic boy get for Christmas?

A Wii fit

What is the anthem for Scottish Engineers?

A: "All the Single Laddies" Edit: Read it carefully

Why Do Scottish people wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper go down a mile away.

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What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman?

The Rolling Stones sing "Hey You! Get off of my cloud!" A Scotsman shouts "Hey Mcleod!! Get off of my ewe!"

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish Highlander?

Mick Jagger sings, "Hey you, get off of my cloud . . ", while the Scottish Highlander yells, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

Hey Mc Cloud Jokes More Hey Mc Cloud Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish Highlander?

Mick Jagger sings, "Hey you, get off of my cloud . . ", while the Scottish Highlander yells, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

What's the difference between a Scottish guy and Mick Jagger?

One says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" The other says "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

Hey Ma Cleod Jokes More Hey Ma Cleod Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'

What's the difference between a Scotsman and the Rolling Stones?

The Rolling Stones say 'hey you, get off my cloud.' the Scotsman says 'hey MaCleod, get off my ewe.'

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What does idk stand for?

Literally everyone I ask doesn't know.

How long do you need to know someone before sharing fries?

Because I'm about to introduce myself to the girl at the end of the bar.

Mc Cloud Jokes More Mc Cloud Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says "Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud..." the Scottish farmer says "Hey McCloud get off of my ewe"

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a scottish sheep herder?

One says, "hey, you! Get off my cloud!", and the other one says, "hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

Mick Jokes More Mick Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish Highlander?

Mick Jagger sings, "Hey you, get off of my cloud . . ", while the Scottish Highlander yells, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

Who looks after the EuroDisney website?

Mick e-mouse.

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

Why are the Irish considered lucky?

It's because they're always drunk as hell.

Why do new Irish mothers keep dying?

Because they lack taters

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why does Ariel wear seashells?

Because she can't fit into D shells

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Because their sheep can hear zippers.