What's big, Scottish and depressing?

Scotland

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What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?

Mac in cheese

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish shepherd?

One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" The other says, "Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe!

Scotland Jokes More Scotland Jokes

What is the difference between Scotland and a pregnant woman?

A pregnant woman is in Labour

Why are radios cheaper in Scotland?

Because the boxes are battered and and the speakers are fried.