How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did Davy Crockett say when he looked over The Alamo wall and saw 5,000 Mexican Soldiers?

Who the hell ordered a new roof?"

How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It takes four. One to screw in the bulb, and three others to watch and say, "Really dude, you look huge!"

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?

A sumo wrestler shaves his legs.

How do you tell if you've lost an argument on Facebook?

Well first you're are in an argument on Facebook.

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

How many McDonalds workers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, because they can't climb the ladder.

How can you tell the clan of a Scotsman?

Look under his kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald.

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish Highlander?

Mick Jagger sings, "Hey you, get off of my cloud . . ", while the Scottish Highlander yells, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a scottish sheep herder?

One says, "hey, you! Get off my cloud!", and the other one says, "hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

Quarter Pounder Jokes More Quarter Pounder Jokes

What do you call a dead baby with a yeast infection?

a quarter pounder with cheese.

What do u call an ethopian with a slice of cheese on his head?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

Scottish Man Jokes More Scottish Man Jokes

Why did they bury the Scottish man on the West side of the hill?

Because he was dead

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

Kilt Jokes More Kilt Jokes

Why do Scotsman wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

What are ye wearing to yer weddin'?

Second fella says "A kilt of course!" First fella "What's the tartin " "She's wearing white" says his pal

Clan Jokes More Clan Jokes

What's Imperial Britain's favorite game?

Clash of Clans

What do you do if attacked by a clan of clowns?

Go for the juggler