Why Do Scottish people wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper go down a mile away.

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What gets you a downvote?

Reposting an old joke that wasn't funny the first time. What gets you an upvote? Posting an original joke, or a funny joke I've heard before. What get's you 5 upvotes? Being

What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain?

Anything you like he can't hear you.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What do mosquitoes think of people who wear bug spray?

They are just OFF-full

Why don't Dunkin' Donuts employees wear name tags?

It wouldn't fit on their shirt.

Mile Jokes More Mile Jokes

What's the difference between a lorry with good brakes, and a lorry with nice brakes?

A Lorry with Nice breaks doesn't stop until after a mile.

Why can any hamburger run the mile in under four minutes?

Because it's a FAST food!

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?

Fleece Navidad!

What would Vincent Van Gogh be if he was a sheep?

Lamb Gogh

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says "Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud..." the Scottish farmer says "Hey McCloud get off of my ewe"

What is the anthem for Scottish Engineers?

A: "All the Single Laddies" Edit: Read it carefully

Zipper Jokes More Zipper Jokes

What has 142 teeths and can hold back the incredible hulk?

My zipper

What has 100 teeth and holds back a monster?

My zipper.

Kilt Jokes More Kilt Jokes

What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?

The codpiece he made out of his girlfriend's face.

What do you call a bunny in a kilt?

A hopscotch

Scottish People Jokes More Scottish People Jokes

Why Do Scottish people wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper go down a mile away.

What do the Scottish people call iPhone?

A: an AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)