Kilt Jokes

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Because their sheep can hear zippers.

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Why do the Scottish wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away

Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Why do New Zealand farmers now wear kilts?

Because the sheep have gotten used to the sound of zippers

How do you tell 2 Scotsmen apart?

You lift their kilts, and whichever one of them has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!

How did the Scot die?

He got kilt.

What does robbing a Scotsman get you?

Kilt

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Why do Scots wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

How can you tell the clan of a Scotsman?

Look under his kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald.

How Do You Tell 2 Scottsmen Apart?

A: You lift their kilts, and whichever one has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!!

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What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?

The codpiece he made out of his girlfriend's face.

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

What do you call a bunny in a kilt?

A hopscotch

What are ye wearing to yer weddin'?

Second fella says "A kilt of course!" First fella "What's the tartin " "She's wearing white" says his pal

Why do Scotsman wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

Why Do Scottish people wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper go down a mile away.

What do you call a man with a kilt over his head ?

Scott !

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Because their heads are so far from their bodies!

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Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Which language does a drunk Scotsman speak?

x-post /r/puns Scotch.