Why do Scotsman wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

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Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies together?

A: They heard that under seventeen weren't admitted!

What's the last thing you want to hear while using a urinal?

nice watch"

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus?

At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

What is it about glow sticks that makes me want to dance in a field wearing fairy wings?

If only I hadn't taken so many drugs I'd know this.

Scotsman Jokes More Scotsman Jokes

Why was the Scotsman buried on the hill?

He died.

Which language does a drunk Scotsman speak?

x-post /r/puns Scotch.

Mile Jokes More Mile Jokes

What's the longest verb in the English language?

Smiles. There is a mile between the first and the last letter.

Whats green and can jump a mile a minute ?

A frog with hiccups !

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

Why would somebody punch a sheep?

Ewe wouldn't understand.

Why do New Zealand race horses run faster than other race horses?

They saw what happened to the sheep

Zipper Jokes More Zipper Jokes

What has 108 teeth and holds back the incredible Hulk?

My Zipper.

What has 40 teeth and holds a monster at bay?

My zipper.

Kilt Jokes More Kilt Jokes

Why Do Scottish people wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper go down a mile away.

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.