Scottish Man Jokes

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Because their sheep can hear zippers.

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Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What does the Scottish man say after love making?

I love ewe!

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

What do you call a Scottish man with no arms and no legs?

a bell.

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

Why did they bury the Scottish man on the West side of the hill?

Because he was dead

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Hill Jokes More Hill Jokes

What is Harry potters favorite way to get down a hill?

Walking....J.K . Rowling

What do you call a Rwandan tribe falling down a hill?

Tutsi Roll.

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a kid with no arms and legs and severe Down syndrome?

Names

What has six legs two arms four eyes and a tail?

A man holding an aardvark.

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

Why do the Scottish wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a scottish sheep herder?

One says, "hey, you! Get off my cloud!", and the other one says, "hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why do bears hate shoes so much?

They like to run around in their bear feet.

Why shouldn't you run over a mexican kid on a bike?

Because it might be your bike.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What did the ireshmen say to the beer ?

I love you.....

Where did I get my scarf?

It's a CVS receipt. You love it Oh thank you very much.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call an Asian man with one leg?

Tai-Wan-Shu

What's long, straight, and found between a pair of legs?

The hypotenuse.

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

What is McDonald's demolition service called?

Quarter pounder.

Clan Jokes More Clan Jokes

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

What's Imperial Britain's favorite game?

Clash of Clans