What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

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Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What kind of apple has a short temper?

A crab apple.

How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house.

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

What is the anthem for Scottish Engineers?

A: "All the Single Laddies" Edit: Read it carefully

Why Do Scottish people wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper go down a mile away.

Mac Jokes More Mac Jokes

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

How is a Mac like a Queen's guard?

They're both run by Unix.