Where do you send bad Russian cows?

The Moolag

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Where do Russians get their milk from?

From moscow

What's the difference between a Twitter post and a Russian Novel?

A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters

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What does the H. in Jesus H. Christ stand for?

Hallmark. God cares enough to send the very best.

Why did the dog's friends send her home from the bar when she started to act strange?

They thought she might have been slipped a woofie.