Where does Dracula buy his writing supplies?

Pencilvania.

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Why do you own a hot dog stand when you draw and write?

Me: Wanna buy my book Them: No. Me: That's why I own a hot dog stand.

When I have complicated problems I always ask myself, what would my imaginary wife do?

And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes.

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Which flavor ice cream is Dracula's favorite?

Vein-illa.

Why does Dracula have no friends?

Because he's a pain in the neck.