Who's in charge of all the liquid measurements?

The liter.

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Why did you charge me a group rate?

Psychiatrist: You've got multiple personalities.

Who's in charge of all the liquid measurements?

The liter.

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Why did the monster drink ten liters of antifreeze?

So that he didn't have to buy a winter coat.

Why don't anarchists accept the metric system?

They refuse to have liters.