Why is seven bigger than nine?

Because seven ate nine.

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Why are dwarfs so depressed?

Because six out of seven dwarfs aren't happy.

How many kittens can you stuff into a microwave for 15 minutes on defrost...?

SEVEN.

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Which vampire ate the three bears' porridge?

Ghouldilocks.

How Dave Grohl spent his night in his hotel room after the concert in Gothenburg, Sweden?

He watched movie Cast Away (starring Tom Hanks) and ate some potato chips.