How are you today?

Me: Tim.

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How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans?

Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.

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Why didn't Tim have any friends while he was studying fishing?

Because he would just go home and master bait.

What famous person is a huge fan of trees?

Tim ber"ton