How did the blind priest find the choir boys?

Satisfying.

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Who would win a battle between an orangutan and a hyena?

I don't know, but we'll find out November 8, 2016.

How many MP's does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding committee to learn more about how it's done.

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How many black Oscar nominees would it take (compared to white nominees) to satisfy the boycotters?

Three-fifths as many seems like a generous offer.

When the cashier asks me "Is that everything?

I feel like crap inside because obviously my order didn't satisfy her.

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Why should we hire the chickpeas to be part of our choir?

They could hummus a song! (I was really proud of this one.)

When do Catholics allow the use of condoms?

When the choir boys have diarrhea.