How do you know when a hiptser is a good secret agent?

You've never heard of him.

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How do you know if you have amnesia?

I don't know.

Why don't Episcopalians play chess?

They don't know the difference between a bishop and a queen

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Why was the Newfie excited when he heard Quebec might leave Canada?

It wouldn't take him as long to drive to Toronto

Who run da world?

points mic at me* ME: having briefly heard the song once before ...squirrels