How do you tell a good monster from a bad one?

If it's a good one you will be able to talk about it later!

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What do Monica Lewinsky and an Asian political correspondent have in common?

All they talk about is the presidential erection

What does a monster mom say to her kids at dinnertime?

Don't talk with someone in your mouth.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's worse than a chick telling you she only thinks of you as a friend?

When she says she thinks of you like a brother.

How do you know if someone's from Texas?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

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Why is toilet paper no good for wrapping presents?

Cos it's tear-able.

What's a good name for a cat?

Catsper.

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What's the worst part about having Comcast internet?

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What's the worst part about Tupac's new sitcom?

The Holocaust. (pun, hologram deal)