How does a hipster measure out his drugs?

Using instagrams.

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What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor?

Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too.

What size lumber is used to build homes in Dubai?

Dubai fours

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What's a cheese's favorite kind of drug?

Amfetamines

What's Wayne Static's relationship with drugs?

I SEE IT!** ooooohh **I NEED IT!**(https://www.youtube.com/watch v=Ps0MfBG5-Uo#t=1m24s)