How many egocentrics does it take to change a light-bulb?

Me, and only me!

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How many ghosts does it take to change one lightbulb?

Zero. They don't exist.

How many Buckeye football players does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. But he gets three hours credit.

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How many Screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: The bulbs IN and it's staying IN!

How many children with Attention Deficit Disorder does it take to change a light bulb?

Let's go ride our bikes!