How many old-timey gangsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: We ain't sayin' nuthin'.

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How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A Brazilian.

How many members of the NRA does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

More guns.

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How many British navy Officers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one but it takes him seven weeks to get there.

How many moths does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just two, but how they get in there.. I don't know. (Stolen from an old Maxim in my dad's storage)