How many tunes should the bard play?

Fortunes.

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Fortune Jokes More Fortune Jokes

What do Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both spent a fortune making their noses more white.

Why are fish cleverer than humans?

Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?

Tune Jokes More Tune Jokes

Why did Sally the stripper stop dating the guitar player?

He kept trying to tune her G string.

What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?

A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.