What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend?

She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all.

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How do you break a Pollock's finger?

Punch him in the nose.

What did the squirrel say when he fell out of the tree and broke his leg?

AAAAAUUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a pothead that breaks up with his girlfriend?

Homeless

What does the alchemist do to please his girlfriend?

Elixir.

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What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend?

She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all.

What did one snowman say to the other snow man?

Do you smell carrot?

Celery Jokes More Celery Jokes

Why should you avoid people dressed as celery?

They could be stalking you!

What are they gonna do?

Ask you to extinguish your celery Doubtful.