What did the pints say upon landing on Planet Metric?

Take us to your liter."

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Land Jokes More Land Jokes

What's the difference between New York City and the Land of Mordor?

Two Towers.

Why do scuba divers fall off the boat backwards?

Because is they fell forward they'd land in the boat.

Pint Jokes More Pint Jokes

What do you call a nun who's drinking a pint?

Catholic

What's the craic?

2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.

Liter Jokes More Liter Jokes

Who's in charge of all the liquid measurements?

The liter.

What did the aliens say, when they came to earth in search of soda pop?

Take me to your liter!