What did the pints say upon landing on Planet Metric?

Take us to your liter."

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Land Jokes More Land Jokes

What did the pigeon say after its friend landed a sick flip?

Coo.

What lands as often on its tail as it does its head?

A penny.

Pint Jokes More Pint Jokes

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

What's the difference between the NBA and a pint of Guinness?

Nothing. They're both mostly black, with a little bit of white at the top.

Liter Jokes More Liter Jokes

What did the aliens say, when they came to earth in search of soda pop?

Take me to your liter!

Why did the monster drink ten liters of antifreeze?

So that he didn't have to buy a winter coat.