What do all battered women have in common?

In a frustrated voice) They just don't listen.

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What book do you like the most?

Woman: "My husband's checkbook."

Why are hurricanes named after women?

Because they arrive wet and wild then leave with your house and car

Listen Jokes More Listen Jokes

What do you call the James Brown songs no one listens to?

Defunct funk.

Why can hipsters listen to Michael Jackson again?

He's been underground for five years now.

Batter Jokes More Batter Jokes

Who's...(loud crash as a battering ram demolishes the front door)...there?

We're the Ferguson Police Department. We ask the questions.

What do (does?) Rihanna and Onion Rings have in common?

They're both battered.