What do you call a monster with two wooden heads?

Edward Woodward.

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What game do monsters play with humans?

Squash.

What happened when the monster kissed his one true love?

He left lip prints on the mirror!

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What do you call a monster with two wooden heads?

Edward Woodward.

What do you call a monster with a wooden head?

Edward.

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What do you call a monster with two wooden heads?

Edward Woodward.

Why does Edward Woodward have so many Ds in his name?

Because if he didn't, he'd be called Ewar Woowar.