What do you call someone who's never smoked weed?

ilLITerate

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What do you call someone who smokes two joints?

Double jointed.

What do Reptiles love to smoke?

Mariguana

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Why do you smell like weed?

Me: How do you know what weed smells like ! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy :(

What do you get if you bake weed into apple pastry?

A high turnover.